Judges don't like critisim when their harming your kids

It occurred to me one of the main reasons fathers get done over in the FC when they are self represented is the criticism they express of the harm being done to their children.

Judges don't normally get exposed to criticism and any sort from anybody and tipically react with vengeance.

The problem doesn't exist in other courts. ...only when they are denying you your right to protect your children.

I criticised the court incessantly and they banned me from having any contact with my child . That'll learn me ! eh?

Kind regards
Simon

Finland it seems is no better.
This from Pertti

The chief judge of the Finnish Supreme Court, Leif Sevon, said once on TV that judges are so used to criticism they won't let it affect the decision making. What naive rubbish, what shameless arrogance to say so!

The truth is the judges wrongly use of power without inhibitions, whenever they are offended - and without any offence. I had lost my trust in the legal system which I told openly in the court room on the 15th March 1999. I still remember the recoil of the chief judge, Leena Korkalainen, at my words. Her later decision was: visitations 3 times a year, 90 minutes a time and with supervision in a shelter home. She is partly free of responsibility, since the social workers (who hated me) suggested that arrangement first.

(The decision is still in force; alienation began from that year on. Now my daughter Arla is in public custody living in a "first home" for kids in urgent need of care. Very soon the order for permanent public custody will be given, of which I have been informed. I have seen my daughter several times, we live in a small place, but she has not exchanged words with me. The social workers now emphasize the father must be back in the girl's life, the mother relation is broken in pieces, something must be done to restore the father relation. My daughter is 15 on the 6th June, FIRST NOW these poor folks get alarmed! My case is a PAS case; my daughter is reluctant to see me.)

Yes, judges do revenge!

Pertti Ruha

Hyvinkää, FINLAND

Steve's story - Queensland Australia

This is my story. It is a honest and true account of how my ex-wife alienated me from my only child. I have never neglected or even smacked my son. Up until October 2006 my son and I had a very positive, affectionate, communicative and loving relationship. Our divorce was also very amicable. I moved out of the family home in January 2004, under the strain of her extremely interfering, negative and trouble making parents who would openly devalue me to my son. They would stay at our family home for 6 to 7 months of the year causing mayhem in the marriage, they then followed their daughter from England and eventually moved in permanently. 'A' is a bright, articulate and very funny little boy, aged 12 1/2 as of February 2007.

How can a once loving 'mutual' relationship be reduced to the father being told I can't speak to, write to, email to, telephone, or visit my child. if I try to contact him I will be served a legal order prohibiting me from making any contact. This happens to fathers across Australia - why? because Mothers are usually the carers and they can influence the child to the point it becomes too hard for the child to deal with and the child makes a choice, Mom or Dad, at which point the Mother proclaims it is the childs choice and not hers. The child then defends the abusing parent and rejects the targeted parent. The mother may wish to control or hurt the father, or they want the father removed from their lives, they use their own children to do this. Let's get one thing straight, this is CHILD ABUSE. Make no mistake, no confusion or misunderstanding ....this is child-abuse. It has to be accepted as child-abuse by

• Solicitors
• Barristers
• Family Report writers
• Judges
• Parents
• Psychologists
• The Media. They are pretty much ignorant of PAS
• Politicians
• Teachers
• fathers
• Counsellors
• Carers

Parental Alienation Syndrome will become widely accepted as disgraceful abuse of children, it will be outlawed

The Aim of my story

• To bring awareness of the horrors of Parental Alienation to the world
  
• For PAS to be crime and accepted as such in society
  
• The presumption of equal parenting for fathers
  

The Story so Far

I received a letter from the Child Support Agency on October16th 2006 which stated that my ex-wife had requested to them that I cease paying her any more money as from that date. I thought this was a strange request so I rang her and asked why, she replied that she did not like me knowing her private income (approx $80.000 +)

How did this come about

I picked 'A' up for our day together at the end of October. He asked if we could play soccer and basketball first so we went to the park and did this. We then went for lunch and to the record store. We found we had an hour to spare so we stooped at a horse show we were driving past, in the adjoining field was a cemetery. We walked, holding hands through the cemetery at 4pm, talking and laughing as he made fun about my 'outie' belly button having it's own gravitational pull. We went to the car where his mother was waiting and as he got in her car he said "Ive had a great day Mum:. I hugged him and off they went.

In mid November she rang at the last minute to cancel my visitation. (Canceling at the last moment was something she did frequently) They were going on holidays 2 weeks later, which meant I would not see him for 6 weeks. I rang her and arranged to see him for a few days when they got back on December 15th 2006, she agreed to this, and even suggested it. That day came and I got no answer when I rang them over 10 times, no replies to my 6 emails and 6 texts asking for her or him to ring me and sort out my visitations. I considered they might have left the country, or moved interstate. After 4 days she rang me and said"Get Over Him" he does not wish to see you any more, she was cold and being very unemotional, she said I was harassing her. It was like she was a stranger and I had never known this person for the last 20 years. I begged her to participate in encouraging our relationship and to see him, to which she replied "I will do what 'A' wants, not you".

I asked to speak to him and he came on the phone and was like a totally different child, he copied her words but was stumbling all over the place and suddenly the phone went down. I have not seen my son since Early November. Where was that boy who had arranged to go go-karting with me when I saw him next?..how can this happen?

I was stunned and speechless and in shock. Three days later I received a solicitors letter stating I had severly distressed my son by walking through a graveyard at 4pm, I had made him take a cross off his neack (total lies) and had denegrated his mother (again lies)

My Son has Disappeared from view, I am grieving for my son. He is being abused by a vindictive mother

Losing a child is a massive blow and one that brings horrific grief and feelings of loss. I have endured disbelief, shock , anger, sadness, terrible feelings of injustice and loneliness. There is no closure to this, I may not be able to see him but he is still there in my heart all the time. This is torture and mothers that perpetrate this Parental Alienation show little kindness for humanity or maternal feelings for their child. The only empathy they feel is for themselves. This is similar to a sudden death and as my ex-wife said "just get over him". Society as whole seems to have a poor grasp of Parental Alienation and the mechanisms of PAS that can make a child turn against their father who they very recently had a loving relationship with

Bereavement Without End

The death of a child is indisputably one of the most incredibly horrible tragedies one can imagine. Whether by sudden accidental circumstance, or by a more lengthy cause as in illness, the loss of a child is undeniably painful to experience.Painful to the parents, parents to the family, and painful to anyone related to the child.

Never knowing the laughter of that child again or the tears, the joys and the accomplishments is a pain no parent should ever have to endure, and yet it happens. No one is to blame. It just happens. Imagine the same pain and the same sense of loss, with one exception-the parent is very much aware that the child is alive.

The effects of Parental Alienation Syndrome are very similar to the loss of a child due to accident or illness. For the parent who has been alienated from their child, the bereavement does not end. How do we know? Each alienated parent separately, and all of us collectively have lived with both the cause and the effect of Parental Alienation for countless years. Like a terminally fatal childhood disease, Parental Alienation rips the innocent child from your arms slowly. You witness the suffering. You witness the effects. You can feel the impending doom is inevitable, but you are powerless to do anything about it. You try remedy after remedy hoping that one will finally rid your child of the "disease". You work like a person possessed in order to finance the efforts, and when the final blow comes, it is emotionally devastating. You question yourself. You blame yourself for the loss. You tell yourself you should have done more. The very sad part of the story, is it is not unique. There are hundreds of thousands of children and parents affected by PAS.

We beg of those with the power to make people aware of this devastatingly horrible phenomena, to please do all they can to educate people on its effects, and to change the laws to protect the innocence of the children involved. Only then can we truly hope to keep children safe from the harmful side effects that are inherent with Parental Alienation itself. It's killing the spirit of family everywhere.

The real victim

My son may or may not get to have a dad and he will lose the positive influence I had in his life.

If you can find the time and the interest please read my story. Contact me if you want to ask any questions on 0433 537 270 or 61+7+5593 8660

The tender years doctrine - the root of Family Court child abuse

Child Psychology in Family Proceedings

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2D5w2qfB6bo&mode=related&search=

Family Law Changes Fail

Posted by: "John Flanagan" jef02@hotmail.com jef0042000

Fri Dec 1, 2006 12:05 am (PST)

Hi
I have been following a case in the Family Court over the past few months. The custodial mother was seeking to totally remove the custodial father from having any contact with the non-custodial father (previous contact was 37 per cent) . I went along to the final part of the hearing in the Family Court last week. The judge has had some considerable experience in family law. At a previous part of the hearing, some months before, the judge had even mentioned the new section 65DAA of the Family Law Act (i.e the judge has" to consider
equal time or substantial and significant time". I was quite hopeful that the new legislation may have an impact on the way the Family Court thinks. I even half expecting to see some changes in the way the Family Court deals with the new Family Law legislation. (Silly me) I was wrong In the interim period, the judge made interim orders that the father was to have some contact. The mother continually ignored the orders and
refused contact. The judge realised that the custodial mother was not Going to give contact to the father under any circumstances. The only alternative option that the judge had was to reverse contact. In that way, both parents would have had contact with the children. However the judge was not game enough to do this. As result, the mother has sole custody of the children and the father has no contact whatsoever - not
even telephone contact. Until the Government legislates for a
rebuttable presumption of equal time shared parenting we will continue to have no fairness in the Family Court.

Regards John Flanagan

Another dad and his kid cop it.

Hi Simon, my story;

I cared for her 2 kids, our newborn and her with CFS for nearly 3 years. Then after 3 affairs by her I was off. I then had full custody for 11 months and mother not even allowed overnights. But then comes the false allegations so the FC will change the orders- a strategy from the book of female tactics when in Family court! 7 dissimilar ones in total incl the ususal child related ones and now every one of them has been disproven. Finally we can get to Trial now after just over 4 years but not before I lost my job as a teacher after 22 years thanks to her child related lies and she even came to my gig and got me sacked as a musician after making a scene there too.

$4500 worth of unneccessary supervised visits and losses to lawyers and loss of income up around $150000 so far. Our son is now obese, showing behavioural problems at school, has medical problems and has even been assaulted by his mother but she was allowed by the police to take him to the assault interview!!The mother has been found guilty 3 times by crim court for breaches of VRO's and for an assault on another adult.

This is the brief version too.

To cap it all off the mother was involved in the much publicised Wood abduction case where a Swiss mother adbucted her 2 children where she actually organised the passports for this Swiss mother and helped her leave Perth WA illegaly.

Still she has the primary care and still our son is very unhappy and not thriving in anyway shape or form.

Simon

Perth

Giving children a voice takes conflict out of divorce

Amazing how dumb these "experts' are.
But why expose the kids to manipulation and fear.

Can you imaging how much pressure your little girl for instance is put under to support her mother.
Can you imaging the pressure that's brought to bear by phycologists brought in to treat the child's behaviour with the mother after daddy been removed from her life.
Sure most kids are going to want fairness ... and both their parents in their lives.
Wouldn't it be easier to make the exclusion of one parent by the other illegal?
and not to bring the kids in to demonstrate this simple truth.

Regards,Simon
vascopajama@dodo.com.au


On 12/10/06, gcpg wrote:

http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,20867,20563011-2702,00.html

Giving children a voice takes conflict out of divorce
Caroline Overington
October 11, 2006

DIVORCING parents often try to keep the children out of the conflict. New research shows it may be the worst thing they can do.

A report by child psychologist Jenn McIntosh shows that when children are included in the debate about a collapsing marriage, the outcome is better for both parents, especially fathers, and for the children.

Divorcing parents who were presented with evidence of the effect of their squabbling on their children - in the form of their child's writing or drawings - were less likely to end up in the Family Court, and their post-separation parenting plans became more durable.

"We suspected that children would benefit if they were being heard," Dr McIntosh said. "But the fact that fathers gained so much from the experience - we didn't expect that."

More than 140 families with 364 children participated in the study, funded by the Attorney-General's Department for the Australian Institute of Family Studies' October seminar.

Attorney-General Philip Ruddock was behind this year's changes to family law, which require separating parents to at least attempt to negotiate at a Family Relationship Centre before approaching the Family Court, unless violence is an issue.

Dr McIntosh divided warring parents into two groups: the "child-focused" group, which received generic information about how conflict can damage children; and a "child inclusive" group, in which parents were given drawings and writing by their own children on how the collapsing marriage was affecting them.

The process had to be handled delicately, and by experts. "It's not just a case of sitting down with children and saying, so, how do you feel about Mum and Dad getting a divorce?" Dr McIntosh said. "That would be a terrible over-simplification."

But the result was clear: parents who were told exactly how their squabbling was affecting the children "quickly modified their behaviour".

"If you say to parents, 'Your conflict hurts children', that's one thing. But if you say to them, 'This is what your child is actually saying', that's a different thing," Dr McIntosh said.

"The level of conflict dropped dramatically. Parents seemed to get a wake-up call. They were moved by the things they heard from their children."

Fathers were more likely to see a parenting arrangement as "fair" after seeing the impact of conflict on their children.

It is not yet clear whether the "child inclusive" model will be adopted by the Family Relationship Centres. While it seems effective, it is also expensive.

But Dr McIntosh said the process "certainly encourages parents to think like adults," which is one of the things Mr Ruddock has been trying to achieve.

"It can help them push the domino over in the right direction, and while there is pain, grief, upset, they need to keep their eye on the ball, which is the children."

She said the "executive functioning" kicks in, "where they say, 'That's right, I have children who are dependent upon me' ".

"It seems to allow both parents to swallow the bitter pill."

© The Australian

Father talking about his custody problems

i was on YOUTUBE today and found this, I am absolutely gobsmacked that this man so eloquently describes the living nightmare many many of us here are experiencing day in and day out.

Please watch and make your own minds up

YouTube™ – Broadcast Yourself

leeahn1 wants to share the following video with you:

Video Description

Have a listen and please comment or share your story.

Personal Message

This video is awesome!