Steve's story - Queensland Australia
This is my story. It is a honest and true account of how my ex-wife alienated me from my only child. I have never neglected or even smacked my son. Up until October 2006 my son and I had a very positive, affectionate, communicative and loving relationship. Our divorce was also very amicable. I moved out of the family home in January 2004, under the strain of her extremely interfering, negative and trouble making parents who would openly devalue me to my son. They would stay at our family home for 6 to 7 months of the year causing mayhem in the marriage, they then followed their daughter from England and eventually moved in permanently. 'A' is a bright, articulate and very funny little boy, aged 12 1/2 as of February 2007.
How can a once loving 'mutual' relationship be reduced to the father being told I can't speak to, write to, email to, telephone, or visit my child. if I try to contact him I will be served a legal order prohibiting me from making any contact. This happens to fathers across Australia - why? because Mothers are usually the carers and they can influence the child to the point it becomes too hard for the child to deal with and the child makes a choice, Mom or Dad, at which point the Mother proclaims it is the childs choice and not hers. The child then defends the abusing parent and rejects the targeted parent. The mother may wish to control or hurt the father, or they want the father removed from their lives, they use their own children to do this. Let's get one thing straight, this is CHILD ABUSE. Make no mistake, no confusion or misunderstanding ....this is child-abuse. It has to be accepted as child-abuse by
- Solicitors
- Barristers
- Family Report writers
- Judges
- Parents
- Psychologists
- The Media. They are pretty much ignorant of PAS
- Politicians
- Teachers
- fathers
- Counsellors
- Carers
The Aim of my story
- To bring awareness of the horrors of Parental Alienation to the world
- For PAS to be crime and accepted as such in society
- The presumption of equal parenting for fathers
The Story so Far
I received a letter from the Child Support Agency on October16th 2006 which stated that my ex-wife had requested to them that I cease paying her any more money as from that date. I thought this was a strange request so I rang her and asked why, she replied that she did not like me knowing her private income (approx $80.000 +)
How did this come about
I picked 'A' up for our day together at the end of October. He asked if we could play soccer and basketball first so we went to the park and did this. We then went for lunch and to the record store. We found we had an hour to spare so we stooped at a horse show we were driving past, in the adjoining field was a cemetery. We walked, holding hands through the cemetery at 4pm, talking and laughing as he made fun about my 'outie' belly button having it's own gravitational pull. We went to the car where his mother was waiting and as he got in her car he said "Ive had a great day Mum:. I hugged him and off they went.
In mid November she rang at the last minute to cancel my visitation. (Canceling at the last moment was something she did frequently) They were going on holidays 2 weeks later, which meant I would not see him for 6 weeks. I rang her and arranged to see him for a few days when they got back on December 15th 2006, she agreed to this, and even suggested it. That day came and I got no answer when I rang them over 10 times, no replies to my 6 emails and 6 texts asking for her or him to ring me and sort out my visitations. I considered they might have left the country, or moved interstate. After 4 days she rang me and said"Get Over Him" he does not wish to see you any more, she was cold and being very unemotional, she said I was harassing her. It was like she was a stranger and I had never known this person for the last 20 years. I begged her to participate in encouraging our relationship and to see him, to which she replied "I will do what 'A' wants, not you".
I asked to speak to him and he came on the phone and was like a totally different child, he copied her words but was stumbling all over the place and suddenly the phone went down. I have not seen my son since Early November. Where was that boy who had arranged to go go-karting with me when I saw him next?..how can this happen?
I was stunned and speechless and in shock. Three days later I received a solicitors letter stating I had severly distressed my son by walking through a graveyard at 4pm, I had made him take a cross off his neack (total lies) and had denegrated his mother (again lies)
My Son has Disappeared from view, I am grieving for my son. He is being abused by a vindictive mother
Losing a child is a massive blow and one that brings horrific grief and feelings of loss. I have endured disbelief, shock , anger, sadness, terrible feelings of injustice and loneliness. There is no closure to this, I may not be able to see him but he is still there in my heart all the time. This is torture and mothers that perpetrate this Parental Alienation show little kindness for humanity or maternal feelings for their child. The only empathy they feel is for themselves. This is similar to a sudden death and as my ex-wife said "just get over him". Society as whole seems to have a poor grasp of Parental Alienation and the mechanisms of PAS that can make a child turn against their father who they very recently had a loving relationship with
Bereavement Without End
The death of a child is indisputably one of the most incredibly horrible tragedies one can imagine. Whether by sudden accidental circumstance, or by a more lengthy cause as in illness, the loss of a child is undeniably painful to experience.Painful to the parents, parents to the family, and painful to anyone related to the child.
Never knowing the laughter of that child again or the tears, the joys and the accomplishments is a pain no parent should ever have to endure, and yet it happens. No one is to blame. It just happens. Imagine the same pain and the same sense of loss, with one exception-the parent is very much aware that the child is alive.
The effects of Parental Alienation Syndrome are very similar to the loss of a child due to accident or illness. For the parent who has been alienated from their child, the bereavement does not end. How do we know? Each alienated parent separately, and all of us collectively have lived with both the cause and the effect of Parental Alienation for countless years. Like a terminally fatal childhood disease, Parental Alienation rips the innocent child from your arms slowly. You witness the suffering. You witness the effects. You can feel the impending doom is inevitable, but you are powerless to do anything about it. You try remedy after remedy hoping that one will finally rid your child of the "disease". You work like a person possessed in order to finance the efforts, and when the final blow comes, it is emotionally devastating. You question yourself. You blame yourself for the loss. You tell yourself you should have done more. The very sad part of the story, is it is not unique. There are hundreds of thousands of children and parents affected by PAS.
We beg of those with the power to make people aware of this devastatingly horrible phenomena, to please do all they can to educate people on its effects, and to change the laws to protect the innocence of the children involved. Only then can we truly hope to keep children safe from the harmful side effects that are inherent with Parental Alienation itself. It's killing the spirit of family everywhere.
The real victim My son may or may not get to have a dad and he will lose the positive influence I had in his life.
If you can find the time and the interest please read my story. Contact me if you want to ask any questions on 0433 537 270 or 61+7+5593 8660
posted by OutCry @ 10:34 PM
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